Sunday, 11 July 2010

It seems like yesterday.......

Yes it does....it really does feel like yesterday but it isnt. It's 8 years today that my darling Son decided he didnt want to be on this earth.

It's hard to put into words how one feels and I wasnt going to put any post up about today but I felt then that my son being the special one he was would then not be known.

You see not many talk about him anymore....It's like he never existed.

Well he is still my gorgeous son and will always be just that and will always be 26 yrs old.

Love you Dylan and I miss you so much.
Hugs to all........Vicki

82 lovely people said....:

Nancy said...

I am so sorry...

Jennifer @ Stitchin' Thyme said...

I wish for you strength, He is beautiful, I cannot imagine...

The Patch Craft said...

He will always live in your heart. Think of him often and remember his lovley smile.

Terry said...

How sad that he felt that was the only choice left to him. My heart goes out to you! :0(

Graciela said...

Vicky I love so much!!! and I so sorry
kisses for you

O'Quilts said...

U are brave and strong and true. By posting his picture, you made him known to all of us. Thank you.

barb's creations said...

((((HUGS)))) Vicki.He will always be remembered :( Barb.

Sue said...

Thinking of you in your sadness.

Sharon (Stitches on Mars) said...

Oh Vicki,

I am so sorry...I wish I had better words.

Love and hugs, Sharon

Dawn said...

oh Darl.... he will be forever remembered by his Mum and those of us who love you ........ thinking of you and sending big hugs
Dawn x x x

Julia said...

I am so sorry Vicki...Thinking of you in your sadness.
Julia ♥

Graciela said...

Vicky my English is not very good, I wanted to say I love you very much, and accompany you in your pain, but you should be fine for those who stayed with you
see you soon !!!!!

Sew Useful Designs said...

Darling Vicki {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

It's so hard to find the right words when somebody has been through so much grief, for fear of hurting them further. But you are right sweetheart, Dylan is a part of your life and always will be... a gorgeous young man. Your strength is amazing Vicki, I can not begin to imagine... Love you sweetheart, truly do xx

Vikki xoxoxooxox

Hazel said...

I'm so sorry but remember the good times .My brother did the same thing, we laugh and talk about all the good times we had with him , it seems to help . It's hard to explain sometimes I'm angry at him for taking his own life but I know he is in a better place . Its hard for me I can't imagine the pain if it was one of my kids ,my prayers go out for you .

Di said...

My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Blanca D said...

SIENTO MUCHO LEER ESTO QUE NOS COMENTAS!!!
DIOS Y LOS ANGELES TE DE FUERZA Y AMOR EN TU CORAZON
BESOS Y ABRAZOS :O)

SewLindAnn said...

He will never be forgotten as if he never existed. He will always be in the hearts and spirits of those who knew and loved him. I wish you peace in the hard time.

Michelle said...

I understand your pain. I had the same thing happen with my dad when I was 12. For many years I worried he would not go to heaven, even though I knew he knew Jesus, and believe in Him. Someone assured me that God understands, and when someone leaves this world in that manner, they are not thinking properly, and they are not acting rationally. Their mind is not 'normal' anymore. God does not hold hurting people accountable when they leave this world in that manner.

My heart is with you today. I understand. Someday, we WILL see our loved ones again. In the meantime, remember the good times, the happy times, and the fun times. He loved you, you know.
be blessed,
Michelle

http://lifeonvine.blogspot.com/2010/05/may-26-1970.html

Susan said...

Vicki, htere are no words we can say to make you feel better, but remember the good times and keep talking about him.

MARYNAN said...

Vicki, No words can describe the pain and sorrow you must feel every single day. Thank you for sharing your pain with us. I hope it gives you some relief today and always.

Maryanne

Allie said...

Darling Vicki - how beautiful he is - I'm so sorry that this happened, and sorry too that some would erase his memory. That's not an option for a mom, is it. Nor would you want it to be. You are in my prayers, sweetheart.

alice said...

My thoughts are with you.Such a terrible loss for such a sweet person. L,A-

Tarnyia said...

thoughts and hugs with you friend... and remember people don't forget they just don't know how to cope or what to say so they stay quiet xxxxxxxx

Janet said...

It is so hard to understand the workings of another person's mind. I'm sure he never realized the pain he would cause other people--he was so focused on his own pain. Remember the good times. I'm sorry no one talks about your handsome son, they probably don't know what to say. I'm so glad you remembered him today and I got to remember him with you. Hugs........

Aunty said...

It's very hard to lose a son. Remember him always.
He will always be in your heart and memories.

Kelly Ann said...

Forever in your heart...

Miriam said...

Dear Vicki (((hugs)))
Yes, time does get distorted.
You are very brave and strong.
Dylan will always be in your heart and mind and the hearts and minds of everyone who knew him.
Take care of you, Vicki.

Funoldhag said...

I can't find the right words to tell you how sorry I am. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Carol

Just Ramblin' said...

Thank you for sharing your tender feelings with all of us and letting us meet your beloved son! Nola

julieQ said...

I am so sorry, dear lady...many hugs and many of have been there too. May you have all peace.

SheilaC said...

Dylan will always be in your heart, and every time you think of him he is there with you...

My heart goes out to you...

HUGS
SheilaC

simplestitches said...

Your story has bought tears to my eyes...my thoughts are with you.

A lot of people find it hard to talk about someone when this happens...and it feels like they don't remember...but your gorgeous son will always be remembered by those that loved him, with treasured memories.

(((((lots and lots of hugs)))))))
Julz

BubzRugz said...

Loving thoughts with you today Vicki... I think a blog post is a wonderful way of remembering Dylan..... Hugz

Liz said...

My thoughts, hugs and prayers are with you Vicki.Thank you for sharing his picture with us and your feelings on this day.:)

Anita said...

All I can do for you is give you all my love.
Anita
http://avander.web-log.nl

Robyn said...

Wow Vicki.... (((hugs)))

Thankyou for sharing this with us.
Your young man will always be a part of you and should be remembered.

Words can't say... so here's another ((((hug))))
Rob xx

Bietje said...

It's hard to think that people have forgotten him. But his family and friends definately didn't forget him.
He looks like a handsom and beautiful person to me. Remember him in all his good things. En please keep remember him on this board, so we are going to know too.
I wish you much strength

marilyn said...

Oh Vicky. Big hugs.
He will never be forgotten by his family. And that is the most important thing for him.

Peg - Happy In Quilting said...

My thoughts are with you Vicki...no words can describe your feelings...I wish we could all understand why this happens....

Barb said...

That is truly a mother's nightmare, my heart goes out to you. He was a very handsome young man. You were a lucky mother to have him for a son, I know you cherish the moments you did have with him and I hope those moments fill your heart with peace and comfort.

Karen's Korner said...

Thinking of you...a special mum. Take care

Maria said...

My Love and thoughts are with you Vicky. Dylan will always be remembered by his loved ones.

Ozjane said...

Special hugs to you for your bravery in pushing aside that curtain that so many people pull down to attempt to cover up a painful event like this. A person is not defined to those who love them by the length of their life or the manner of their departing. He is still the son you love and bravo for this lovely remembrance of him

esquiltingpassion said...

May God bless you to continue to give you the strength to endure. My son's name is Dylan too, I can't even imagine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep the Faith and Dylan's memory alive.
Elaine

D y a said...

Dear Vicky, big Dutch hug for you
(((((Vicky)))))

Teodo said...

dear Vicki a great kiss for you.
ciao ciao

KaHolly said...

Wow, Vicky, I can't believe another year has already passed us by. I'm glad you decided to post this afterall. A great big cyber hug for you! ~karen

Joy said...

Darling Vicki ... my heart aches for you my dear friend. Keep those lovely memories of your beautiful boy in your heart always.
Loads of love to you hon ....
Joy xxxxxxx

Wendy B said...

...and super big (((hugs))) to you Vicki sweetness. He will never be forgotten by those who knew him, and by those of us who 'know' you! Thinking of you my friend
XOXOXO Wendy

Lucky-1 said...

Hugs to you Vicki.... I so hope you feel better for posting your love for Dylan and can feel the love we are all sending to you.

Bev C said...

Vicki, a special prayer and happy thoughts coming your way in memory of your son Dylan.
Happy Memories.
Bev.xoxo

Blogless me said...

Thank you for your trust in all of us reading your blog! I think we all realize the courage it takes to speak about deep pain. I believe, though, that it is a wonderful thing to do - speak about someone you loved, love and will always love - because nothing can take away the time you had with him, all the secrets you shared, all the tears you shed together and all the laughs you had. I am also pretty sure his friends have not forgotten him but people often find it awkward and embarrassing to talk about matters of the heart. Some even might be reluctant to do it because they care too much for your feelings - I know it sounds absurd but I have experienced a similar attitude after my mother died at the age of only 53 after a lifetime without hardly ever being ill. I loved (and still do) talking about her - to me it is my way of honouring her life, paying tribute to all she did for me, our family and her friends. Please, do share your thoughts about your lovely son with us whenever you feel the need to. Hugs and love to you and all of your dear family!

Sheila said...

My thoughts are with you , I am sure that the loss of a son is very difficult and I am sending you cyber hugs .

Yvonne aka sommeke said...

Sooo sad!
Hugs from Antwerp/Belgium

Celine said...

I am thinking of you and your femily today. Can't start to imagine how hard it must be.
Hugs,
Celine in UK

Belén said...

Lo siento mucho, por muchos años que pasen una nunca olvida, y siempre estará en nuestro corazón.
Un beso muy fuerte.

Gerry said...

My heart aches for you, Vicki. I wish you peace.

Anna Rosa Designs said...

Hi Vicki,
My heart goes out to you.
I'm sure Dylan's memories will live on forever in your heart and mind!
Take it easy my friend,
Big hugs,
Anna

Joy McD said...

(((((hugs)))))
lv,
Joy

Laurette said...

Hi Vicky...
My heart goes to you Vicky.and it is really great that you remember your son and let other readers knows about him. God is looking after him now,that is for sure.
Big hughs and take care.
Laurette.

rvsherw said...

I have no words, only thanks for being so brave to share. God bless you, my dear and I know you are holding him close in your heart. I'm holding you and yours close in my heart today.

Renea said...

From mother to mother I also lost my son when he was 26 years old. He had a brain tumor that contained 3 different cancers. My son has been gone for 4 years and I miss him every minute of the day. May you find peace from all the people who are sending you strength.

creativedawn said...

I feel sad for you Vicki...also feel that your son is with God... May God be with you also. Perhaps the folks around you don't want to upset you by talking about him.
Prayers and crossed fingers
big hugz
Pam

Chookyblue...... said...

well tell us a bit more about him.........quirky, funny, frustrating, kind, mischief???? share some stories if you like......
thinking of you........

teresa said...

I remember your son Vicki... I remember this time last year when you posted about him and I remember thinking, how does any mother survive something like this. I remember him and I remember what you must go through, every day. My heart goes out to you and I wish I could take away the pain. xx

Jenny of Elefantz said...

You are such a beautiful mum, Vicki...one who carries her love for her child each and every day, so close to your heart. I pray that you can find more joy in your memories of him than pain...more smiles than tears...he was blessed to be yours, as you are blessed to be his.
{{{{{love you}}}}}
Jenny
xxxx

KAYLEE said...

How sad for you Vicki, he must have been in a dark place at that time which is so tragic. I am sorry for your loss. Hugs Kaylee

Sewlmate Sister said...

Vicki, I'm so glad you posted this. A member of our Quilt Guild's son...made the same decision a few weeks ago. (18 years old). We were just talking yesterday trying to ffigure out if it's best to talk about it with her or to give her time to grieve. It's so hard to know what to say to a Mother in this situation. We sure don't want her to think we have forgotten but we don't want to upset her either if she's having an hour when she can find her way out of the grief. My heart is with you and you're right. talk about him whenver you feel the need!

paddysdaughter said...

How very sad that no one talks about him any more, that must make his loss even more difficult. For any parent the death of a child, no matter how, is one of the most difficult and unexpected things with which they might have to cope, so talk about him, remember the good and bad times, he was here, part of your life, and I can imagine will never be forgotten. My thoughts are with you, so glad you felt you could share with us on your blog.

Annie said...

I am glad you have shared Dylan with us. I understand how hard it is when people stop talking about those we have lost, I hope you will continue to come here and talk to us about him.He looks a fine young man whose loss you must feel greatly.

Linda said...

Prayers for strength and peace.

Micki said...

I am so glad that you shared Dylan with us. He was a very handsome young man, and I know you must miss him so much! My heart goes out to you, and I wish that I could hug you. Think of all of the good times...I know you had many with him. That is what he would want you to do.
I am so sorry!
Micki

suzie said...

((((Vicki))))). Dylan will forever remain in your heart. Thank you for sharing your precious angel with us. I have sons around that age and I just can't imagine living without one of them. Continue to share him as it is a timely reminder to not take life for granted.

lisa said...

thank you for sharing, his memorry is alive in you, and Ihope others will share things they remember of him for you too....I am 8 years younger than he was, 26 now. I a
sorry you and he could not have had more time together

Jeanne said...

Vicki, my heart aches for you. I can't imagine the loss of a child. Sending hugs your way.

Janice said...

My thoughts are with you. He will never be forgotten by those who loved him. Thanks for sharing.

Mary on Lake Pulaski said...

You have every right to remember and talk about him Vicky - he is a part of you. May you continue to heal.

Cristina said...

Le mie due migliori amiche hanno perso i loro figli, nel patchwork hanno trovato la forza di vivere una seconda volta, anche senza di loro.
Ti sono vicina anche se per me è difficile capire..il tuo dolore.
Un abbraccio
cri

Kathy said...

I'm glad you shared your son with use. I can only imagine your pain. Thinking of you. Hugs

Penne said...

Wow.........I am so sorry. he is a beautiful son and he is still here with you. You haven't forgotten him nor has all those who knew and loved him. God Bless you.

Diane H said...

Thank you for sharing your son with all of us, dear Vicki. How wonderful that he is now 'known' all over the world.

Carol from Panama said...

Vicki

I found your blog by clicking on a comment you made on Jeanette from Southern Australia's Farmer's Fancy blocks on the Inklingo Projects blog.

I was so sad to read about your son Dylan's death. My daughter died in a car wreck almost 19 years ago - she was 19. I wrote a blog post about her two years ago. You might find some comforting words from a mother who also lost a beloved child. I also mention several books that I found helpful on my journey through grief.

I am so very sorry.

Hugs

Carol